Today I want to talk to you about a subject that I feel is very important and powerful when it comes to meeting and holding the interest of not only women but anyone in your life.
This subject is none other than Storytelling and when used correctly, can make your desirability with women sky rocket.
Before I jump into the tips and secrets behind successful story telling and how to construct a powerful story (which will be covered more in depth in Part II) I want to clear up a few myths when it comes to the matter of story telling.
Myth one: My stories have to be true and about me.
Now this is ultimately up for you to decide but as long as you keep the conversation fun, apply the right story telling techniques, and can keep the conversation moving, then your story does not have to be true.
Even if the women does not believe the story, if you kept it fun, she will be entertained and most likely run with new conversation topics developed from your stories.
I am not encouraging you to lie though, the most powerful stories are ones that are true and come from a place of emotion.
You can be so over the top with stories where the unbelievably becomes so fun that she gets involved and becomes part of a newly painted reality that you and the girl get to share and more importantly create together. (This becomes a key factor in “Role Playing” and by mastering storytelling, your creativity in “Role Play Conversations” raises but sadly, the subject of role playing will have to be saved for a later issue.)
However I think the biggest misconception is not whether the stories have to be true, but is more about whether or not they have to be about the story teller.
One of the main goals of story telling is to communicate to the listener about you. Surprisingly, it is easier to convey things about yourself by HOW you tell a story, not the actual content of it.
Through the power of expressions, energy, and vivid language, you can convey to your listeners such things as, dominance, humor, interests, and over all personality.
When applying the proper techniques of a story, you should be able to repeat what you heard on the news but in such a fashion that directly makes you more interesting and displays your personality.
Myth Two: As you get better with women you become less dependent on story telling.
Now there is some truth to this myth in the sense that you do not go into interactions with prescripted stories as much as you may starting out. However, it is through the skills that storytelling develops that make you less dependent.
Instead of going into in interaction with a story you have made up or written down and rehearsed, you are able to share any subject in an interesting fashion that makes people listen.
This skill is enhanced by applying the arts of storytelling and is one of the key reasons learning and mastering storytelling is a great way to improve not only your skills with women, but your overall social skills.
What is storytelling and why is it important?
Storytelling is the direct means of communication when highlighting important parts of your life to the listener. Not only through context, but through delivery.
Storytelling plays a very important part in getting to know someone and the great thing about telling a story, is that it creates so many other subject matters to talk about and that a story is almost always followed by another story.
If you are familiar with “The Canterbury Tales” by Geoffrey Chaucer, you will see how each story is molded by the one told before it and by who told the story. (Don’t worry; your stories don’t have to have a rhyme scheme during the interaction like many of Chaucer’s do)
There are many reasons storytelling is important and if you are not currently utilizing storytelling then consider these following facts:
*Storytelling is a great way to save dying conversations
This is one of the most common problems that I see with many guys. An interaction will be going great, then conversation starts to die and there is that awkward silence. This is a great time to bust out a story from your arsenal and revive the interaction.
Knowing you are armed with a story creates more approach confidence when entering an interaction.
People are afraid to enter interactions because of the fear of running out of things to say. By developing a great story or two and keeping them in your back pocket for when you need them creates a great since of confidence during the initial approach and can really help limit the anxiety that one gets when approaching a beautiful women. You are guaranteed that the interaction will last at least the length of your story.
*Storytelling is a great way to display dominance
When you are telling a story the right way, all eyes are on you, you are the center of attention, and everyone lingers off your next word. Holding the attention of the group through storytelling puts you in a dominant frame of you being the leader of the interaction and everyone else being the listener, waiting to see where you take the group next.
What you convey through your stories is how you will be remembered.
Unlike most things you say during an interaction, a good story is unforgettable. How many times have you had someone tell you about some crazy story that one of their friends told them? Stories have been passed down for ages; it is an old custom and still exists till this day. The girl should be able to look back on the interaction and be like “Oh yeah, that was the guy who (did whatever interesting activity that relates to you).”
*Storytelling develops stronger social skills
This is one of the biggest reasons that I like to make sure everyone masters storytelling. Through storytelling you learn to capture the entire attention of the group. Also you directly convey your personality and it gets you accustomed to doing so. The skills that are developed from strong storytelling directly carry over into your social personality that make all conversation with you more exciting and vivid. The expressiveness you show in stories ties into your future interactions and directly improves your social personality.
*You can convey things through storytelling that you normally could not say.
There may be some interesting details of your life that said outside the context of a story may come off as bragging. But in a story, these little details are never the subject of the story thus they remain subtle but are powerful when displaying aspects of your identity.
Now that you have an idea of why storytelling is so effective and what you should be aiming for when telling a story we are going to work on creating your very own powerful stories that cannot be ignored. All this will be covered in Part II of this newsletter, but there is an exercise I want you to do right now so you can directly apply all the tips and tactics to create an amazing story.
Exercise 1: Write down anywhere from seven to ten moments in your life that you feel changed or defined who you are.
If you have a funny story then that is just a humorous time then you can feel free to include that. But even if the story does not seem major, just entertaining, the fact that you can remember it means it has a bigger effect than you realize.
This can be happy, fun, or even sad (not depressing) but we do learn through negative experiences. We will eventually cut these down to just a couple stories in Part II but for now I just want you to get into the habit of taking note of interesting experiences in your life.
Ideas: Vacations, Life/Death Experiences, an unforgettable concert or sporting event, a moment you succeeded, something funny that happened to you or a friend.
Now I know that there are going to be people that say they have no interesting stories. This is just not the truth; everyone has something interesting that has shaped who they are. Do not be modest; even if it’s a silly story write it down. You can’t be afraid to share a story, sometimes they are hard to think of and if you really can’t think of a past story, starting paying more attention to your every day life. And if you still can’t think of one then go take a vacation, you will return with hundreds of them.
So many things happen in one day that people don’t even think would be a story. But every past event being told is a story. There is no excuse not to have one.
Exercise Two: Write down at least 5 things that you would like people to know about you.
This is going to tie into personality conveying. Think of the things that you would like any friend or new acquaintance to know about you. These are the things that directly relate to your identity and make you who you are. Do not be surprised if these things are directly related in some way to the stories you wrote down in exercise one.
Ideas: Hobbies, Sports you play, instruments you play, your job, your goals, your skills and achievements.
Now save this list, we are going to use it a lot in Part II of this newsletter to create some super powerful stories that you can always rely on. Also I will further go into the skills of storytelling and how to use them to make every story and conversation more interesting.
I am going to do this very exercise along with you guys so you will get to see my story end product as well.
Till then keep an eye out for the next letter and great ready to really take storytelling to the next level.
Some guys will never become great with women.
You might think I’ve lost my mind, but it’s true.
A lot of guys just won’t get it.
And it’s not because they’re not smart enough or somehow defective…
In fact, it’s a subconscious choice, that they have made unknowingly.
I know what you’re thinking.
“How can I make sure I’m not one of those guys?”
Am I right?
Well I’m here to tell you how. You will probably never hear what I’m about to say from other gurus because it’s such a very subtle but very powerful fix that most leave it out of the equation.
Meet Matt. Matt’s a good guy, likes to be social and has taken a bootcamp with another one of the pickup companies. But Matt still doesn’t get the success he really wants; in fact he’s not successful at all.
“Vin, why don’t you help him!?”
There are a couple reasons why I don’t help Matt out. One being he’s too set in his ways and is stubborn.
BUT, that’s not the real reason. If Matt was only stubborn I’d have an easy time changing his mind about things.
The real reason why I can’t help him is the same reason why he isn’t successful with women.
I’ve already said Matt’s a good guy, but every time I talk to him I get the feeling like he wants something from me. In fact a lot of our mutual friends have said the same thing to me about him.
We don’t like hanging out with Matt and neither do women.
Matt always give this vibe of having an ulterior motive. He talks to you like a friend, which is great, but he naturally gives off a vibe that says to me that he’s trying to take knowledge, power and fun from me.
The same thing happens to Matt when he’s talking to women. He treats them in a friendly manner and is funny but always gives off this vibe that on another level he has an underlying intention.
Having intentions with women isn’t a bad thing. If you express your sensual intentions openly they’ll acceptable it, especially if you have tight game. It may even turn them on. IN FACT it will skyrocket your conversion rate if you do it the right way.
But if you hide your intentions you come off as creepy and weird. Women won’t trust you or feel safe being around you alone. You could be the best actor in the world but… THEY WILL KNOW.
Being creepy is the “Death” card in the Tarot deck of your love life. It will kill any chance of success you might have.
So now you know what might be going wrong. How do you fix it?
Well to start off you need to begin being fun and unattached to the outcome whenever you can. It’s not about giving back money. It could be anything from telling a great story to a group or being a great host to a bunch of your friends. It could also be a compliment (in the right way of course) or a tease that will spike emotions in way that is fun to a woman.
Be out there talking to women not only because you want to pickup, but because women are amazing and fun and interesting and wonderful.
Next you need to start doing is being clear about your intentions. This doesn’t mean directly telling a girl “The whole purpose of me talking to you is so that I can get into your pants.” That’s going to kill your pickup about as fast as being creepy.
There are small subtle changes you can make in your behavior that will affect how your intentions are perceived and if you’re congruent with what you’re saying. There are so many small fixes that I could write a novel on them.
Do you want to read a novel about fixing your creepy vibe and then taking the months to implement it that it will require? I didn’t think so. I wouldn’t want to spend the months writing that novel either.
Dating Tips For Christian Singles
As Christians, we are used to being different from those around us. We make different choices about how we spend the Sabbath, and how we prioritize our time. So it’s no surprise that when it comes to Christian singles dating, our choices are different as well.
Since what a Christian is looking for in a dating relationship is usually different from what others are looking for, it can be difficult to find partners. The first challenge in Christian singles dating is finding the right person to date. There are some tips that can help.
Look at church for other singles. Ask around your congregation, and look in the area for other congregations that you could visit. Some may have single-specific activities you could attend.
This certainly doesn’t mean you give up your own church, but you need to put yourself in places where you can get acquainted with others that share your beliefs. As one pastor said, you can’t marry someone you never meet. So Christian singles dating is made easier if you attend events with other single Christians.
Another good way to meet others is to get involved in service. There are lots of organizations that serve. Some are connected to churches, but others are community organizations. You’ll likely find others who share your values and are interested in Christian singles dating.
If the people you meet aren’t single, they will likely have a Christian friend or relative who is also single. Networking is the way to get to know people. It works for dating as well as business.
Going online is another great way to meet other Christians. Using an online dating or personal ad service is a quick way to meet other single Christians. There are sites specifically set up for Christians that are easy to use.
When dating Christians, it’s important to let them know the kind of relationship you are seeking. Many single Christians want to find a life marriage partner. If you are not interested in that kind of relationship, it’s best to say so upfront. It will save hurt feelings later.
Dating is the place to practice good relationship skills. It’s important to look for the best in a partner. Learn to compliment sincerely and overlook minor difficulties.
However, dating is also the time to discover exactly what you want in a partner. You may discover your partner has different values and commitments. It is good to identify those during the dating process and decide if they are differences you want to live with long term.
Christians should set limits on physical contact. If you set limits up front, then you’ll find you don’t have the physical desires cloud your emotions and lead you to poor decisions you’ll both regret.
Simple rules include staying out of bedrooms and always dating in public places where lots of other people are around.
Prayer and meditation are also important aspects to Christian singles dating. Ask about this person and ask if the relationship is on track so you can make great decisions about dating and life.
There are some timid, shy people around which have difficulties to make an open chat with new singles, they typically need additional time to adjust to the situation. An uncomplicated convenient answer for them might be to go out on a first date to the movies hence to get used to the presence of the new date, without the obligation to talk. When you come out, you might talk about the movie you Just both watched.
An additional notion, if you’re shy about making a chat, is to ask your date on herself. It’ll serve to show that you’re interested in learning about her, as well as remove part of the pressure of talking, off you, until you’re more comfort. By making them do the to talk you may feel less stressed and eventually you will relax adequatly to talk about yourself.
Last point, take into account that Most humans love to talk mainly all about their life, actually, what they would like most is someone that would hear them attentively, therefore if you are a good listener you will find A lot of people feel most at ease with you.
Remember, you should do anythging you can to put your shyness in the corner, otherwise it will put you in the corner…
Dating Tips For Woman That Will Win Him Over
Let these dating tips for woman help you have a better time on your next date while impressing your date, too.
Go easy on the perfume. Yes, wear your favorite scent and dab it on your pulse points and wherever you usually wear it. But don’t wear too much. It’s easy to do when you’re nervous because it seems like more should be better than less. But he’s probably going to do the same thing, so less is better than more.
Prepare for the unexpected. He may have told you you’re going to a restaurant and to a movie. But what if he includes a walk in there somewhere? Don’t wear your highest heels assuming that this won’t happen. Keep your clothing and your shoes fairly moderate just in case there’s something spontaneous so you don’t get stuck walking in extremely high heels.
Wear a hairstyle that’s easy and natural for you. Don’t wear your hair in a brand-new way on this first day. It will make you self-conscious about it and maybe even uncomfortable. Choose a style that isn’t difficult to pull off so that you won’t be nervous about getting it right and have problems with it before you go on your date.
Think about what you’ll talk about on your date. This woman dating tip can help make the day go smoother, especially if he’s stumped for subjects of conversation. Movies, books and hobbies are good ideas.
Brush up on current events if you’re not up on them already. The latest big thing to hit the news is something most people can talk about when all else fails. Sharing your opinions on the latest celebrity gaffes or amazing news items is a good way to break the ice.
Try not to judge your date too harshly. He is nervous, too. So give him a little slack when it comes to how he acts or whether or not he does what you think are all the right things.
Also, give him points for asking you out in the first place. Even if it’s clear he’s terribly nervous, remember that he’s only nervous because he wants to impress you. Take that as a compliment that he cares enough to worry about what you think of him. While it’s not your job to rescue a bad date, just bear in mind that if you can do it, you both have a better time.
Don’t forget to compliment him on something. His choice of restaurants, his cologne, his shirt or how much he knows about a particular subject are all good things to think about. If you compliment something about him, it will set him at ease.
He’ll feel good that you do like something about him and he’ll be less nervous. And that means you’ll both have a better time on the date. Don’t go overboard with compliments, however, if you’re not sure you don’t want to go out with him a second time.
These dating tips for woman can really help you have a great date.
Dating Tips For Women – Shine Ladies Shine
I’m not a shrink or an expert but I think there are some pretty common sense dating tips for women
that if they are followed will greatly increase any woman’s chances of finding happiness and love. Ignore them at your own peril!
Every woman is different, and every woman has different wants and needs in a relationship (are you listening guys) and only you can determine what your ‘perfect’ mate will be. Now is your time to shine. Whether you are single out of choice or because of circumstances beyond your control, take control and enjoy this time of your life. It may well end up being much better than you would have thought possible.
Here are some tips to keep in mind, most of these are geared to anyone who is re-entering the dating world, but a lot of them are good to follow for any woman:
1.Get rid of the baggage. Everyone has some baggage, and the older you are it’s likely the more baggage you have. Don’t think of it as being bad, it’s made you who you are today. But it is time to stow that baggage in the overhead bin so it doesn’t fall out and hit you on the head when you run into some turbulence. Live, learn and move on.
2. It’s high time you stop worrying about what other people will think. Who gives a crap what your great aunt Sally will say if you date a younger guy (or a younger girl for that matter). It’s your life and you have the right to live it to the fullest. Figure out who you are, what you want and don’t settle for less.
3. Don’t restrict your dating to only your local establishments. There is a great big internet just filled with lots of very attractive fish. You don’t have to limit yourself to just your little pond (do go slowly though when meeting someone online. Take time to get to know them before you meet them by talking on the phone. When it is time to meet, meet. Don’t let them come to your house).
4. Do not change who you are to accommodate someone else. You don’t need to. The only things you should ever change are the things that you really aren’t satisfied with. Don’t talk yourself into believing that you should change X, Y or Z when in reality you know that the only reason you want to change is to please someone else. They either love you for who you are or you will find someone who will!
Ladies, it’s your time to shine. Live your life to the fullest. We are lucky because we are no longer burdened with all the rules that once governed so much of our lives. We are free to express ourselves fully and richly, so go for it. That is just one of the dating tips for women
that I think most any woman (and maybe some men) can really benefit from. Enjoy!
Dating Tips For Women-Find The Right Person
Finding the right person to spend time with is often a tricky thing to do. The dating scene may, thanks to the internet, give us new options, but some things never change. With that in mind, here are some proven dating tips for women.
Dating Tips for Women #1 – Don’t talk about your previous relationships.
Yes, you can talk about past flings eventually, but you shouldn’t bring them up too soon. Generally speaking, the longer you wait, the better. Ignoring this tip is not a smart move. The reason it’s such a problem is that the guy you are dating wants to talk about his favorite subject…him! He will consider any time you spend talking about your ex as a signal that you are less interested in him, and more interested in the men from your past. The purpose of dating is to get to know each other, so take some time to get to know the new guy in your life before you start talking about past loves.
Dating Tips for Women #2 – Just be yourself.
Dating makes people anxious. You want to give a good first impression, and you definitely don’t want to say or do anything stupid. Unfortunately, a lot of women will overcompensate by pretending to be somebody they’re not. The problem here is that the real you will come out sooner or later. Not only that, if a guy doesn’t like you for who you are, then it’s a waste of your time and his to keep stringing him along some phony story.
Dating Tips for Women #3 – Don’t think about the future before it’s time.
Not every guy is afraid of commitment, but they may be scared off if on your first date you start talking about marriage, having kids and your ticking biological clock. Even if he brings up the subject first, try to not give any definitive answer as he may be testing you. If you have a great date, then be careful to avoid fantasizing about how wonderful your future together is going to be. You may have dreamed about living the fairy tale since you were a young girl, but don’t let that dream prevent you from taking advantage of reality.
Dating Tips for Women #4 – Take compliments gracefully.
Few things are more irritating to a guy than women who instantly downplay a compliment. It takes a lot of courage for a guy to say he likes your hair, so don’t respond by telling him how awful you think your hair is. Not only will he feel like you are shooting him down, but hew will also think you have low self-esteem or just like to be contrary; none of these things will endear you to him.
While there are tons of other dating tips for women, these are a good start. If you follow them, you will greatly increase your odds of having a second date after enjoyable date.
Are you looking into ways of how to have a successful first date? Are you about to take a woman/man out for the first time? Are you about to go on a date for the first time in years and feel that you are out of touch with what is expected? This article is all about dating offering tips and advice aimed at helping people who may have answered yes to one or more of the above questions.
There has been many different type of dating site online for many years now, probably since the internet was started in fact. They advise about the type of subjects to talk about, the types of clothes to wear and also various tips of where the actual date should or could take place.
Other types of dating site give people the opportunity to find their perfect partner. This could be by viewing a number of photos and reading different peoples profiles. There is then the chance to e-mail and even phone a person of interest. From here of course comes the first date or meeting.
Many people have met their future husband/wife in this way and these type of dating sites are likely to be around for many years to come. There is now another quite scary form of dating site online. On this site previous partners of people can share their views on their past love. This in a way is a form of warning to other people who may be thinking about starting a relationship with this person.
I have a number of friends who have successfully met people via various forms of dating site. They feel that this way of meeting somebody is a lot less hassle than constantly going to bars and trying to find a partner in this way. These women are not in truth the actual type of person they are after in any case. They like the fact that they can attempt to get to know the person via e-mail or phone before they have to agree to meet them.
As for the first date itself, this can be a very daunting experience for some people. This is where a dating tips service can prove to be invaluable as the advice given can be of great benefit. The information provided comes from tried and tested previous successful experiences of dating, information which should also prove to be successful again.
One thing I always say to people is to just go out there and enjoy yourself. Some you will win, some you will no doubt lose. At the end of the day all we can do of course is to give it our best shot. Good luck.
Dating Tricks for Women
Establishing eye contact with your date will let him know that you are listening. Although you’re not interested in his babbling, just look straight at him.
You’ll know when would be the right time to talk. Tell him things about your wonderful self. Make your stories long. If it seems that he’s not listening, maybe he is not really interested in you.
Most men do not like silent girls. Other men do not like very annoying and loud ones. Most men are picky, and that is just the way they should be.
Don’t be afraid of this fact. All you have to do is speak out and he will hear you for sure. Do not be afraid to be yourself while you’re out on a date with him.
Be natural yet not exaggerated. Keeping silent will make you invisible to him. Loud mouthing will surely be annoying for your date.
Sometimes, it’s not a bad idea to make the first move. If you feel that your date is too shy, make the first move. It may help him step up then take over from there. Don’t be scared to take risks and turn it into opportunities!
Sometimes, most men can’t read signs. They might just be inexperienced or simply stupid. On the other hand, maybe they’re both.
They simply want the woman to come up and say a few magic
words. Now if you happen to like a man that obviously likes
you but cannot come up with the right words, make the move
and try asking him out.
It won’t hurt to try doing the first move. After all, who makes the first move doesn’t matter in times like these, since what matters most is for you to express what you really feel for your date.