When you’re dealing with a break up it’s easy to get mired down in bad feelings. You’ve got a broken heart, you’re angry and you feel completely rejected by someone who claimed to love and care about you. It hurts, and it’s necessary to feel that pain when dealing with a break up.
But it’s all too easy to never quite get past it. It’s okay to feel sad, depressed, lonely and even feel sorry for yourself for a while. But don’t let your ex boyfriend or girlfriend ruin your self-confidence and self-esteem.
They did not want to remain in a relationship with you—that’s all it means. It says nothing about you—it’s all about them. It’s all too easy to start thinking things like you’re not smart, funny, pretty or sexy enough for them, so maybe the fault lies with you.
Don’t let yourself think this way! It’s a big lie! If your ex said any of those things to you in anger, that’s just what it was. They were lashing out in anger and pain to try to hurt you. Don’t let it!
When you’re dealing with a break up there are already so many bad feelings there that adding in feelings of inadequacy will only make you feel worse. And you’ll feel bad for a longer period of time. It can even sabotage your other relationships if you truly start to feel badly about yourself.
If you already have low self-confidence or self-esteem, these kinds of feelings will only send you spiraling down into a real mess of emotions. You have to understand that rejection is part of life, and just because one person rejects you it doesn’t mean that you’re unworthy of love and affection from other people.
If you feel at all like you’re unworthy or that inadequacies that you have are why you’re now dealing with a break up, try reading a couple of books about relationships and how to make them work. Read about how to be a more giving part of a couple.
Even if you’re not the one at fault, it never hurts to learn more about relationships. You might learn some tips and gain some insight that can help your next relationship.
Next, try reading a book or two about how to gain self-confidence and self-esteem. The things you learn in those books won’t just help your next relationship but they’ll help you in every aspect of your life. If you’re feeling badly about yourself from dealing with a break up, you need to read things like that to build yourself back up and help you get over it.
Read motivational books about self-confidence and personal power and really practice the tips they give to help you feel more comfortable with yourself. And if there’s something about yourself that you’re really not happy about, and it’s something that’s bothered you for a long time, then change it.
Dealing with a break up can open doors to all sorts of self-improvement and self-love if only you’ll let it.
Dealing With A Break Up Is Never Easy
There isn’t anything even remotely enjoyable about going through a break up. Even if the two of you agreed it was the best thing for now, there are still all kinds of negative things that come up. At the very least, you will be going through a change and will have to readjust to living life differently–and that’s if it was a good break up. The bad ones are, well, just bad. You may feel hurt, angry, sad, guilty and confused. Regardless of what led to you splitting up, it’s important that you deal with it so you can return to some sense of normalcy.
Accept that it’s going to take some time to sort things out. The more time you take, the better it will be. Yet, you don’t want to drag this process out forever. So, you need to buckle down and start working through this. Give yourself some time to be alone, and have no contact with your ex. You both need time and space to come to terms with what has happened. It will be much less complicated if the two of you aren’t pestering each other.
If you are feeling sad or depressed then you should get some help. This can be as simple as talking to a trusted friend or family member. You may want to seek counseling if it’s a more serious case of depression. Just be sure to take it seriously as being depressed about the break will start to cause problems in other areas of your life. So, make defeating sadness your first priority.
Once you’re feeling better (and only when you’re feeling better), you have to make a choice. You have to decide whether you want to try to get your ex back, or if you just want to move on. Moving on may be the easier choice, but make sure that’s what you really want to do. There are few things worse than living the rest of your life wondering about “what might have been”. So, if you even have a hint of thought that you may want to try working things out with your ex, then it’s a good idea to go for it.
Did you know that the vast majority of relationships can be saved? It’s true, but there is a catch. You have to follow a plan that works, and you need to be willing to do whatever it takes. You should have already cut off any contact with your ex, so that step is out of the way, but there’s more.
The next thing to do is get to the root of the problems that led to the break up. This step is usually more tricky than people expect. That’s because they are very good at seeing the problems that are on the surface, but that’s not quite good enough. If you don’t get to the root of the problem, you won’t be able to fix it…and that could lead to the two of you breaking up a second time. So, give it some thought. The, when you know the real problem, you can start coming up with solutions.